God, I hate job searching.

Talk about the bane of my existence.
Let's see, I have spent two years and 20,000 dollars of my hard earned government loaned money attempting to pursue my dreams and begin a career and what do I get?
Diddly.
I am not a fan of Career builder; simply because all of it's answers to their quizzes are so completely vague it makes me want to smash my face into a wall.
And no, the colors I choose do not depict that I would be best suited to become a cop!
So off to Craigslist, correct?
WRONG!
There I find "Hey I need a sperm doner" or "Anyone want to help me be my beard guru?" "We need bikini models!"
Two of the three I do not qualify for simply because I do not have that anatomy (except I saw this one chick once...anyway getting off topic) and as for bikini models...
I have not seen myself in a bikini since 2004 for good reason, thank you.
If I am not comfortable with my own skin enough to let my fiance see me in a bathing suit, sure as shit stinks I'm not signing up to be a bikini model. I'd like everyone to keep their lunches, please.

All I'd like is a job that relates to my career choices of becoming an animal trainer. I know! What a cool choice right? Yeah if there were any jobs available I would think it would be a cool choice too.
But it is the end of summer, so at this point there are not many jobs available in a field that is very affected by the tourist crowd.
However there are always people who need their dogs trained to sit and not eat the paperboy's face, so I applied to Petco (Or was it Petsmart? I can't tell the difference between the two) as a dog trainer. Please wish me luck on that; I'd rather at least be using my skills for something slightly beneficial. As my friend Chris pointed out oh so kindly (*stab stab*) I may be overqualified for the job.
Fuck.
Okay well I should at least explain my schooling to the uninformed:
I am a graduate of the prestigous America's Teaching Zoo, also known at the EATM program (Exotic Animal Training and Management).
Never heard of it?
If you're not in the animal field I'd be very suprised if you had ever heard of the school.
It is located in a suburbia of Los Angeles called Moorpark where at the local community college in it's own little compound area the zoo sits. It's open on weekends to the public and really is quite cool simply because faculty is there to teach and generally manage the overall large decisions: the zoo is run by the college students in the program. There are roughly 50 students per-class: two classes per year 1st years and 2nd years. As it is obvious to most, this is a two year program.
Okay 22 months.
In a nutshell, for twenty two months one student such as myself was there for 7 days a week, averaging 9-10 hours per day.
Freakin' exciting considering you get to work with animals every day, right?
Wrong.
You actually have little to no animal interaction for almost a full year because of the training that many of the animals are going through with the class above yours.
The majority of that first  year is to initiate you with how the animal field works, how training works, how to properly hose/scrub/rake up the various kinds of shit you will find in this career path, and how to be the bitch for people more experienced than you.
In that first year you learn (or should learn) how to do what you are told with little to no talking back. As students, you are the bottom of the pile. Deal with it.
It's really split 50/50 if people can deal with that kind of...I won't call it abuse though there are many more winier than I that would call it so.
I felt we were treated quite nicely, but that was mostly due to the fact that Moorpark was not a private organization and so people liked to sue.
Assholes.
Anyway; so if you made it through your first year (yes, if.) you became a prestigious 2nd year: you got to play with animals, joke with the staff and faculty, total seniors and big-boys on campus.
Until you get thrown out into the real world. The majority of us could not be on campus full time spending time with the animals and learning AND balancing a job to perhaps make ends meet (food stamps: a blessing) so now we have to scramble to find a job.
Some of us are lucky.
Others are not.
Some of us get confused (see the Monster.)
I had the confusing proposition of getting temp. jobs as a carny.
Yeah.
Technically I was a "vendor" but I'd like to see the average Joe distinguish that fact (I did not smell like cabbage and my hands are normal for my height thank YOU). For a little over a month and a half I worked at the Del Mar fair milking goats and working a petting zoo- at the end of the fair so ended my job.
Jobless until August first when once again I was whisked off to a fair- the LA fair this time, working with exotics (hurray!) being an animal educator. I can honestly say I adored this job, but I did miss home and waking up on an RV couch with a kangaroo chattering at me to feed it and a capuchin monkey body-slamming her carrier door does get old after awhile.
And yet, as the month finished, I am once again jobless.
At the end of the peak season.
I know my last boss enjoyed me working for her and I do not blame her in the least for letting me go, but business is business and things simply slowed to a crawl for the animal education industry across the nation. It's a fact: summer = tourists = money = fairs = MORE MONEY!
*shrug*
So back to my original issue: I'm jobless.
Lame.
If you see anything that may spark my interest please leave a linked comment; I've worked sales/retail before, and another one of my strengths is (oddly enough) working as a barista. I did it when I lived in Santa Barbara, and it was fun. I really enjoyed that job and was sad when I had to leave it for school. Granted that school was Moorpark, but either way. Sad.
So anything animal related, sales related, server related, or coffee related, I'm down for.
Thank you.
On a fantastic note, there's going to be a bbq at a friend's house tonight; and it should be entertaining at the least. And I'm supposed to get six ripe avocados! Oh hooray, the responsibility kills me.